Have you ever wished for something really hard but never asked for it?
We wish for things without speaking up. But what if I told you that wishing actually holds you back?
The power lies not in hoping for something, but in actively asking for it. Simply asking helps you take control and make things happen.
But how do you ask effectively?
Here, we’ll talk about why we often choose wishing over asking, why that might not work well, and most importantly, 7 effective hacks to help you switch from wishing to asking.
These hacks are all about helping you speak up confidently, get what you want, and feel more in charge of your life.
We’ll show you how asking can change your life for the better and turn your wishes into reality.
So if you’re tired of just wishing and ready to start asking, let’s start!
Why We Wish Instead of Ask (And Why It Doesn’t Work)
We sometimes just wish for things instead of asking for them. And that doesn’t work.
Wishing feels safe.
It’s like silently hoping for something good to happen, with no effort.
Here are the reasons:
- Wishing is Easier – Wishing feels safe as you don’t have to do anything actively. You just hope that things will magically happen on their own.
- Scared of Saying No – You might be scared of being told “no” if you ask for something. And this fear makes you hesitant to speak up.
- Not Sure What You Want – You’re not clear exactly what you ask for. So you don’t know how to ask for them.
Wishing keeps you stuck.
You are just losing your chance of getting something you need or desire just by simply asking.
Now let’s talk about 7 effective hacks that can help you overcome these challenges and confidently ask for what you want.
7 Effective Hacks: How to Ask and Get What You Want
1. Get Crystal Clear : Define What You Want
Asking feels good, but it’s hard to get what you want if you’re not sure what “what” even is!
The first step is being super clear about what you want.
When you’re really clear about what you want, it’s like having a clear map to your destination.
You know exactly where you’re going, making it easier to plan how to get there.
How to Do it:
- Be Specific – Instead of saying, “I want a better job,” be clear like, “I want a job that lets me work on creative projects and offers flexible hours.” What kind of work would excite you? The more specific you get, the easier it is to ask for it the right way.
- Write it Down – Putting your goals on paper makes them more real. Write down exactly what you want to ask for and the reason behind your ask. Why you want it to happen?
- Visualise – Picture yourself getting what you ask for. How does it feel? What does it look like?
This much clarity will make you ready to ask for them in a way that gets a “yes”.
So get really clear about what you want to ask for.
2. Identify the Askers: Know Who Can Help You
Once you’re clear about what you want, It’s important to know who can you help you get there.
Knowing the right people to ask for can make a big difference. So askers are the ones who have the power or resources to make your wishes come true.
These askers can be anyone depending on your situation:
- At Work: Your boss might be the one who approves promotions or assigns projects you’re interested in.
- In Personal Life: Maybe you want to learn a new skill. A friend who’s an expert could be your asker by offering guidance or connecting you with resources.
- In the Community: Looking to volunteer? Talking to the head of a local organization could be your first step.
The key is to identify the person who has the power to grant your request.
Think about your network, both online and offline. There might be people you haven’t considered who could be valuable askers!
3. Craft a Compelling Ask: Turn Maybe into Yes
You’ve got your clear goal and you know who can help.
Now it’s time to ask in a way that makes others likely to say ‘yes’.
Here’s how to craft a question that turns a hesitant “maybe” into a confident “yes!”:
- Be Clear and Confident: Speak directly and confidently about your request. Don’t mumble or apologize for asking.
- Focus on Value: Don’t just ask for something. Explain how asking for that benefits the other person or the situation (win-win!). For example, if you’re asking your boss for a raise, highlight the value you bring to the team and how a raise would motivate you to keep excelling.
- Keep it Simple: Don’t overwhelm the person with a long, complicated request. Be concise and to the point.
Here’s an example:
Instead of: “Um, hi Mr. Jones, so… I was kind of wondering if maybe there’s a chance I could get a raise sometime?“
Try: “Mr. Jones, I’ve been consistently exceeding my sales targets this quarter and I’m eager to take on more responsibility. I’d love to discuss the possibility of a raise to reflect my contributions and continued commitment to the team.“
By following these tips, you’ll craft a compelling ask that’s clear, confident, and shows you’ve put thought into how everyone benefits.
This approach makes it much more likely you’ll hear the answer you’re hoping for!
4. Master the Art of Delivery: Timing is Everything
How you ask for something can greatly influence the response you receive.
The way you deliver your request can make it more appealing and increase the chances of a positive outcome.
It’s about finding the right time, place, and manner to make your ask.
How to Do It:
- Pick the Right Time: Pick a moment when the person you’re asking is most receptive and not too busy or stressed.
- Set the Right Atmosphere: Is a casual chat over coffee best, or would a formal meeting be more appropriate? Ensure the environment is conducive to a positive conversation. Think about where the asker feels most comfortable.
- Confident Body Language: Speak clearly and confidently when making your request. Use a friendly tone and maintain eye contact.
- Be Respectful: Avoid being overly pushy or demanding. A respectful and professional tone shows you value the asker’s time and position.
- Practice Makes Perfect: Rehearse your ask beforehand. This builds your confidence and allows you to refine your delivery for maximum impact.
Mastering the art of delivery makes it easier for others to listen to your request and respond positively.
Your chances of a positive response are now increased.
5. Embrace "No" as a Stepping Stone: Learn from Rejection
So you delivered your awesome ask, but what if you hear “no”?
Rejection is a common part of asking, but it doesn’t have to be the end. It is beneficial for you if you use it as a stepping stone.
Getting a “no” feels discouraging, but it’s also an opportunity to learn and improve.
See it as a chance to grow and refine your approach.
How to Do It:
- Understand Why: A “no” might tell you there’s something missing from your ask. Maybe you need to be clearer, offer more value, or choose a different asker. Understanding why your request was declined can help you make adjustments for next time.
- Refine Your Ask: Use the feedback to refine your ask or approach. Maybe there’s a different way to put your request or a better time to ask.
- Try Again: Don’t be afraid to ask again, either to the same person or someone else. A “no” from one person might open a “yes” from someone else.
- Keep Asking Nicely: Don’t give up easily! The more you ask, the more comfortable you become with rejection. Each “no” makes the next “yes” even sweeter!
A “no” is not a stop sign. Getting NO is a chance to learn and grow.
Don’t say NO to this.
Use it to refine your approach and keep moving forward.
The key is to not let it stop you from asking and chasing what you want.
6. The Power of Persistence: Don't Give Up Easily
Persistence can make a big difference when it comes to getting what you want.
Persistence means not giving up easily, even if you face obstacles or initial rejections. It shows your determination and commitment to achieving your goals.
Persistence is like the strong wings that keep you going even when the first try isn’t perfect.
How to Do It:
- Show Commitment: When you follow up politely after an initial ask, it shows you’re genuinely interested and willing to put in the effort.
- Follow Up: If you don’t get a response or receive a “no,” consider following up politely. Sometimes the asker needs time to consider your request.
- Build Trust: Don’t give up after just one try. Following up shows you’re reliable and respectful. This can build trust and make future asks more likely to succeed.
Persistence shows you’re serious and increases your chances of getting that final “yes!”
And even if you don’t get what you want right away, the act of asking and following up keeps you moving forward and shows your dedication to your goals.
7. Express Gratitude When You Get What You Asked For
Once you get that “yes” and achieve your goal, be sure to show your appreciation!
Being thankful can make friendships stronger and start a good cycle of sharing and receiving.
Appreciate it and recognize the work someone did to help you.
It makes people feel good and makes them want to help you again in the future.
How to Do It:
- Say Thank You: A sincere “thank you” verbally or in writing shows you value the asker’s help and strengthens your relationship.
- Be Specific: Mention what you’re grateful for and how it has benefited you. For example, “Thank you for connecting me with John. It helped me learn valuable insights about marketing.”
- Follow Up: After expressing gratitude, consider following up with updates or feedback. This shows that you value the assistance received.
This not only shows you’re thankful but also leads to good relationship that can be helpful later on.
It’s a win-win for everyone.
Summing Up : You Get It If You Ask To Get It
Wishing passively keeps you stuck, but asking gives you the power to make things happen. Just like in my previous post, Don’t Waste It! Today is what you have – 7 Actionable Tips , we explored practical ways to seize the day and stop procrastinating.
You’ve learnt the effective hacks how to ask and get what you want.
Now you know the hacks, you can transfrom your life from “I wish” to “I did it!”.
Take the leap and start asking!
Now is the time to stop wishing and start asking! What will you ask for today?
So don’t fear from asking for what you want. The results will be positive hopefully.
Take control of your life, speak up confidently, and see how things change for the better. It’s never too late to ask and make your dreams come true.
Put your comments below and let me know how you liked the content! Don’t forget to suggest this post to your friends who might also benefit from the power of asking!”
With that,
All Green Lights to You
I’ll talk to you soon
